All you Minnesotan-Vladitians must be as tired of this never-ending winter as I am. It has been FAR too long since we fired up the oven and enjoyed some delicious pizza. This should be teaching us patience – which supposedly is a virtue. But the lesson I have learned instead is: Thank God I Have A Television. Because when you’re stuck inside for seven months, you really need something to see you through: Real Husbands of Hollywood, The Mindy Project, Ellen, The Walking Dead, Modern Family, The Colbert Report, Top Chef, Key and Peele, The Daily Show, Amazing Race…I could go on and on. “But Pope Elise,” you may be thinking, “when do you find time to clean your house, what with having a full-time job, running an important pizza-based religion, and watching hours of TV every day?” Well, Vladitians, we all have to make difficult choices in this short time we have on earth. And I have made those choices: I plan to do a ton of cleaning in the afterlife.