So a lot of hateful people who were/are against gay marriage have used ridiculous arguments like, “if you let a man marry another man, pretty soon a man will want to marry a dog.” Or, “next thing you know, people will want to practice bigamy!” These arguments are the crazy rants of alarmists, of course. However…in case there comes a time when a woman can be legally married to both a man AND a cheese, I have selected my betrothed: Chiriboga Blue. Because you know that old schoolyard taunt, “if you love it so much why don’t you marry it!” Why don’t I? Because of our stupid restrictive laws, that’s why!!
This cheese is fantastic. Amazing. Norman surprised me with it after I suggested we have bread and cheese for dinner. It was love at first bite. Creamier than your average blue cheese, both in taste and texture. Here’s a more detailed description, from cheese.com: Chiriboga Blue is a Bavarian (German) artisanal cheese produced by an Ecuadorian cheesemaker, Arturo Chiriboga. His cow’s milk blue was modelled on Roquefort but tastes more creamy and buttery than the peppery, assertive French classic. The smooth, spreadable texture is dense, evocative of frozen custard. The ivory interior with very few blue-gray streaks of veining produces a very subtle flavour of sweet cream and grass perfect for cheese mongers who have just started with their journey of blue cheeses.
I think cheese.com might be written by someone in Europe. Or someone pretentious, who spells the word ‘flavor’ wrong on purpose because they think it makes them look sophisticated.
Anyway, back to cheese. Our local cheese shop at 44th and France has a wide selection to choose from, and they are pushers. Like a drug dealer giving you your first ‘bump’ for free to get you hooked*, the cheesemongers will practically shove bits of cheese at you until you HAVE TO try some. And when you sample something like Chiriboga Blue, once you try it you BUY it. Or your husband does, if you’re too lazy to go to the store because you’d rather sit on your ass watching another episode of Orange Is the New Black.
*Mom, I don’t know about this from personal experience. Just from watching a lot of reruns of Law and Order.
A different kind of Rerun
In case anyone is worried that I’m some hoity-toity type when it comes to cheese, let me tell you about my love of Velveeta. Oh, you glorious “cheese product.” The very best thing for making a grilled cheese sandwich. I grew up with it and was mad when my mother tried to introduce actual cheese into my diet. I did eventually learn to enjoy a fine aged cheddar, a buffalo mozzerella, and so on, but I never lost my love for a giant rectangular block of Velveeta. So trust me when I say that anyone would be able to enjoy Chiriboga Blue. (“Blue! You’re my boy, Blue!” – Old School)